LSU quarterback Danny Etling likes big butts — and he cannot lie
BATON ROUGE, La. — On the surface, college football quarterback seems like one of the cushier gigs in sports. But as Spider-Man’s uncle once warned, with great power comes great responsibility. And as LSU quarterback Danny Etling demonstrated Tuesday, one of those responsibilities is answering really weird questions.
Most of Etling’s meeting with media revolved around answering 57 varieties of “How does your back feel?”
And in case you’re wondering, the answer to that is: “It’s great. I was able to move around. I feel a lot better. I was able to make more runs out of the pocket, I felt like. It’s something Coach [Matt] Canada keeps pushing me on.
“It’s a lot better being able to sleep at night not dealing with a lot of pain. So there’s that aspect, too, mentally, to get more rest and have some confidence to make some throws that might have been tougher last year.”
Former LSU center T-Bob Hebert, now a radio personality in Baton Rouge, decided to get a little more personal with Etling.
“Lloyd Cushenberry and Will Clapp — whose ass feels better?” Hebert asked the quarterback of LSU’s two centers.
“I can just tell you what you’re looking for as far as that in a center,” Etling responded without hesitation. “What you want is a nice, plump bottom. A surface area to put your hands on. You want them to feel you.
“As much as I love Will, and as great a football player as he is, he doesn’t have the biggest bottom. But him and I have really worked toward it. We’ve found a nice surface area to put my hands on.
“Lloyd and I are coming along. I didn’t get a ton of snaps with him in the spring, but we have come along in the past couple days.”
In light of this information, Etling was then asked if he prefers taking snaps from the shotgun.
“It depends on who the center is,” he deadpanned.
Alas, this was not the only weird moment of Etling’s day. When he moved from the radio and TV scrum to the writers, he was asked about his reaction to a recent story by the LSU fan site “And the Valley Shook.”
The story’s premise: Etling holds the mantle of most handsome quarterback in the SEC.
“I thought my mom wrote it at first,” was Etling’s official response.
Unsurprisingly, teammates and even team managers are having a field day with this information.
“I saw it all over here,” Etling said of the current most-printed article in the LSU locker room. “I’m sure all my teammates saw it. The equipment guys are giving me a hard time. Coach.”
Despite the ribbing, Etling is taking it all in stride.
“You’ve got to take the victories you can get,” he noted.
On Tuesday, Etling’s biggest victory likely was getting out of the media room before something even weirder was asked of him.