Mike Gundy has gone and ruined the college football hair game. Coaches used to be able to get away with pretty much whatever they wanted in the hairstyle department without fear of judgement or public conversation. Not anymore.
The Oklahoma State coach was out and about at Big 12 Media Days on Tuesday, flaunting a mullet he has deemed to be worth millions for the Cowboys.
“I think that would be a good subject for marketing majors, graduate students to look into,” Gundy said. “But I would said the dollar figure is somewhere in the millions for the amount of time I’ve been on the air with that.”
Now, whether or not that is fuzzy math is a topic you’ll have to discuss with our cohorts on the Diehards.com Big 12 beat (Shameless plug).
What we’re here to talk about today is– who has the best hair game in the SEC? And why.
So, without further thought of Mike Gundy and his glorious Kentucky Waterfall, we assess the SEC’s head coaches:
The Million-Dollar Man: Nick Saban
Let’s go ahead and get it out of the way. Chalk this up as another conference title for Nick Saban. He’s been combing that hair the same way for so long we’re pretty sure he wakes up looking regal.
The man with all the national titles just happens to be the man with the best hair in the conference. Coincidence? We think not.
The Barber Shop Regulars: Derek Mason and Ed Orgeron
Have you ever seen Derek Mason out and about without a fresh haircut and a sharp looking outfit? This man knows style.
Coach O wins the contest for “most product in the hair” going away. That jet black hair is always in place.
The Distinct Saban Tree: Kirby Smart, Will Muschamp and Jim McElwain
This group of former Saban assistants will once again be judged together. Each has a unique style of their own. If you walked into a barber shop in South Carolina and proudly said “Give me the Muschamp,” they’d know exactly what you mean. Whether that’s a good or bad thing is in the eye of the beholder.
The “Just give me the clippers” Guys: Butch Jones and Bret Bielema
Butch Jones and Bret Bielema may be two of the more underappreciated coaches in the league, both for their work turning around programs and for their no nonsense approach to the hair game. Both keep it high and tight, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
The Visor Guys: Dan Mullen, Kevin Sumlin, Gus Malzahn and Hugh Freeze
There are guys who wear the visor because they want to and there are guys who wear the visor because they have to. We mostly have the former in the SEC. Kevin Sumlin and Dan Mullen clearly have nice heads of hair, and could contend for the top spot in the league if they’d leave the visor behind on occasion.
The Hat Wearers: Mark Stoops and Barry Odom
All of this talk about hair likely disgusts Missouri’s Barry Odom and Kentucky’s Mark Stoops. Just look at them in the above picture. They don’t have time for your judgement of their hair. The SEC East is up for grabs this year, so grab a ball cap and let’s get to work.
One last thing we know for sure: Only 5 more Saturdays until SEC football.