If this week didn’t gear you up for the opening weekend of SEC football, nothing will. Here’s a look the most entertaining, uncomfortable and head-scratching moments of the week.
— Before Tim Tebow captivated us as a baseball player, he and (a possibly buzzed Marty Smith) jumped into a lake with Alabama coach Nick Saban. The best part of the video is Smith’s primal, bourbon-induced yell followed by a terribly typical Tebow statement.
— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) August 28, 2016
@MartySmithESPN GREAT interview Marty! One question, was the cup a spitter or Jack and Coke 🙂
— Jeremy Hawks (@jeremyhawks) August 28, 2016
— South Carolina coach Will Muschamp apparently treats his locker room like a kindergarten classroom where each player has a green, yellow or red light. Whatever it is, it worked Thursday night in a 13-10 win over Vanderbilt.
USC coach Will Muschamp has "red, green and yellow light players" https://t.co/Zwc6hmwepQ
— Eric Boynton (@ericjboynton) August 29, 2016
— After Florida announced sophomore WR Antonio Callaway would play Saturday, UMass coach Mark Whipple discussed his playmaking ability — specifically his punt return for a touchdown last year against Alabama.
“Callaway scares you,” Whipple said. “We don’t have the guys that Alabama has, and he runs through those guys like sliced cheese.”
Sliced cheese? What kind of simile is that? Next time go with “a hot knife through a stick of butter,” coach.
— You know we couldn’t get too far in the week with out a Les Miles sighting. Monday he explained his obsession with punters from Down Under and said: “If he can’t speak Australian, I’m not interested.”
Les Miles on his punters: "If the guy can't speak Australian, I'm not interested." #LSU
— Bruce Feldman (@BruceFeldmanCFB) August 29, 2016
Brad Wing started the Aussie revolution in Baton Rouge in 2010 before Jamie Keen took over punting duties in 2013. Now Josh Growden, a freshman from Sydney, will be the starter.
— Texas A&M’s intimidation tactics are somewhat odd, yet impossible to turn away from. Someone from TexAgs.com decided to crush a UCLA helmet with a hydraulic press and I can’t thank them enough for it. The helmet looked more like it was melting than being crushed. I’m honestly more impressed by the helmet than the Aggies’ press.
— TexAgs (@TexAgs) August 29, 2016
— The SEC Network showed us the worst of life when there’s no football with this video of Tebow, Finebaum and others feeling objects while wearing cushy satin blindfolds. Tebow again provides the money quote at the 1:18 mark.
Smells like…@SEC Football.
— SEC Network (@SECNetwork) August 29, 2016
— Someone at Fox News clearly didn’t double-check the production assistant’s research before Steve Spurrier came on to promote his new book.
Steve Spurrier. Universally known as "Head Ball Coach" someone should tell the nerd running graphics at Fox News. pic.twitter.com/VUvbkZskOx
— Patrick Shuck (@pshuck) August 31, 2016
— Miles came through again when discussing the Tigers’ matchup against Wisconsin at Lambeau Field.
LSU’s Les Miles says if any LSU player does Lambeau Leap: “They'll end up w/ their thumb out to see if they can get a ride home”.
— Brett McMurphy (@McMurphyESPN) August 31, 2016
You have to wonder if McMurphy cut off the quote before Miles added, “unless it’s Leonard.”
— Let’s all take a moment of silence to remember the monthlong romance between Texas A&M QB Trevor Knight and Duck Dynasty star Sadie Robertson, which ended recently.
“Trevor is a great guy, but our schedules are just so busy right now. He’s in the middle of football season, and I’m about to start my tour, so the timing just didn’t work,” Robertson told US Weekly.
Have at him, College Station girls.
When all the A&M girls heard that Trevor Knight, and Sadie Robertson have broken up. https://t.co/s5jGi6RkkB
— Petrol Boomin (@A_A_Ron_Rodgers) September 1, 2016
— South Carolina may have beaten Vanderbilt on the field, but the Commodores can chalk up a win for this low-key Muschamp insult accusing him of the ultimate sin.
No. 9 Tennessee barely weaseled by Appalachian State for a 20-13 overtime win, but the way Volunteers coach Butch Jones handled himself afterward was almost more entertaining. He crashed the Mountaineers’ disappointed huddle to offer some Rocky Top wisdom and gratuitous finger-pointing.
Butch Jones: “Maybe if I tell them they’re an exceptional football team that means my team isn’t poorly coached.” pic.twitter.com/wTWX3zCgMn
— Dieter Kurtenbach (@dkurtenbach) September 2, 2016
There are no words for this new Heisman House commercial featuring Tebow. Just watch.
Who else is ready for Saturday?