It’s time again to handicap the action against the spread in the SEC. Of course, it’s never easy to pick winners, but with a slate of games this weak, the losers are obvious: all the fans that have to sit through them.
Florida Atlantic +30.5 at Florida
Jim McElwain said the FAU offensive players looked a lot like Florida’s. Is that supposed to be a compliment? The Gators won’t score enough to cover this number.
The Citadel at South Carolina, no line
There’s no line for this one because the Bulldogs are an FCS team, but Vegas did set the over/under at 25 for South Carolina coaching rumors between now and Thanksgiving.
Charleston Southern at Alabama, no line
There’s no line for this one either because the Buccaneers are an FCS team, and I have no idea what a tin horn is.
Auburn -34 vs. Idaho
If Auburn wins, the Tigers will be eligible for a bowl. If Auburn loses, Gus Malzahn will be eligible for unemployment.
Arkansas -5 vs. Mississippi State
Last Saturday Mississippi State got beaten up worse than Ronda Rousey did. Arkansas is not a team the Bulldogs want to be playing right now.
Vanderbilt +6.5 vs. Texas A&M
The Commodores have nine goal-line stands in 10 games. In other words, it’s now easier to get into Vanderbilt’s law school than it is to get into Vanderbilt’s end zone. That defense will shut down Texas A&M and the Commodores will win outright.
Georgia Southern +13.5 at UGA
Depending on how well Georgia Southern uses the triple option, UGA athletic director Greg McGarity may be forced to use the buyout option.
Kentucky -24.5 vs Charlotte
It’s the highly anticipated matchup between Kentucky and a tough foe from the state of North Carolina. Oh wait, that was Tuesday when the Wildcats basketball team played Duke. Well, this game is also happening.
Tennessee -7 at Missouri
The good thing about this game is that it isn’t being played at Neyland Stadium, because to hear Tennessee’s critics tell it, the Vols’ home turf has injured more people than Brock Lesnar.
LSU +6.5 at Ole Miss
Ten years from now Republicans will still be arguing with Democrats, Sylvester Stallone will still be making movies about Rocky Balboa and Les Miles will still be at LSU fending off rumors that he is about to be fired. Let me put this in a way the folks in Baton Rouge, La. will understand: I don’t think Miles is “geauxing” anywhere anytime soon.