It’s time once again to handicap the action across the board in the SEC. And frankly, I feel like I deserve some credit for continuing to try to find the winners even though Lane Kiffin has a better chance of being hugged this weekend by someone wearing orange than I do of actually getting any of these picks right.
Auburn +6.5 at Arkansas
It’s a team that lost to Toledo playing a team that almost lost to Jacksonville State. It sounds like the kind of college football game you’d expect to find on FS1 on a Tuesday night. Auburn is the pick because… well, one of these teams has to win, right?
Alabama -15 vs Tennessee
Tennessee’s biggest issue has been its ability to hold onto leads late in games. The Vols won’t have to worry about that this week. Instead, Tennessee’s problem will be another blowout loss in a rivalry that hasn’t felt like a big deal since Britney Spears was hot.
Missouri at Vanderbilt under 35
O.J. Simpson will find the real killers before either of these teams finds the end zone. This game reportedly had the lowest opening over/under total in college football since 2004. In other words, this one will be a “total” bore.
Western Kentucky +16 at LSU
Tom Cruise was in attendance for LSU’s win over Florida last week, which brings to mind the fact that this week’s opponent, Western Kentucky, and its explosive offense could be Risky Business for LSU. If Les Miles doesn’t have All the Right Moves, then the Tigers’ national title pursuit will be Mission: Impossible.
Texas A&M +5.5 at Ole Miss
Neither of these two teams are in a good mood at the moment. Texas A&M lost to Alabama because Kyle Allen was passing out interceptions for touchdowns like they were Halloween candy. Ole Miss got fried in Memphis like Gus’s Chicken. The Aggies are the pick because they are healthier and generally pretty good on the road.
Kentucky +12 at Mississippi State
There are a few questions surrounding this game. Will Mississippi State quarterback Dak Prescott continue to set records? Or will Kentucky get another SEC victory? And if the Wildcats win, will its fans stop laughing at in-state rival Louisville’s basketball scandal long enough to notice?