We all know it’s true, even if no one is willing to say it out loud. But some Halloween candy is far superior to others. Just like SEC teams.
So with that in mind we’ve compared every SEC team to its Halloween candy counterpart:
Alabama: Full-size chocolate bars
There’s at least one house in every neighborhood that gives them out. While most people go for the cheaper, fun-size candy, one family goes all out and buys full-size chocolate bars. The Crimson Tide are that family. Alabama opts not to settle for less and is the best team in the country, much like a full-size Snickers bar is the best part of one’s Halloween haul.
Auburn: Fun-size Milky Way
Milky Way is the best small chocolate bar one can get on Halloween. While it doesn’t always compare to the full-size candy bars, sometimes a Milky Way is better than a full-size Baby Ruth. Auburn is similar in that every so often it has a better year than Alabama. But over time, Auburn just isn’t on the same level as the Crimson Tide.
While most candy is easy to eat, a Butterfinger provides a crunch when you bite into it. Arkansas is similar in that while many modern offenses will try to spread you out, the Razorbacks have stayed with a traditional offense. The Razorbacks are a nice change-up from the other types of chocolate candy.
Skittles are the kings of the non-chocolate division. Florida is essentially the same for the SEC East. While most think that a chocolate bar is better, a good bag of Skittles rarely disappoints. With the exception of a few Will Muschamp years, Florida has largely been the same since Steve Spurrier took over.
Georgia: Two-piece Kit Kat bars
Traditionally a very good candy. But we wish that Kit Kat bars gave us a little more. They’re close to competing for the best Halloween candy but somehow come up short. The Mark Richt era at Georgia is basically that. Fans wanted to see more from Richt. Maybe Kirby Smart can upgrade the Bulldogs to full size. But in his first year, the Bulldogs look more like a single Kit Kat bar.
Any other time, Twizzlers would rank near the top. Unfortunately, with the wide variety of candy available, the licorice falls by the wayside. The Wildcats dominate in basketball. But in football, they’ve struggled to keep up with the Alabamas of the world. Fortunately, basketball season starts soon for the Wildcats and their fans.
LSU: Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup
Usually a close second to the full-size candy bar. It’s similar in a lot of ways as well, but the fact that most only give out one cup makes it a little less meaningful. LSU has been really good over the past decade, but when compared to Alabama, it just doesn’t match up.
Mississippi State: M&M’s
No one has ever had a bad bag of M&M’s. But you’re also not raving to your friends about how many packs of M&M’s you got. That is basically the Dan Mullen era at Mississippi State. He’s never had a bad team, but no one is saying Mississippi State is the SEC’s best.
Missouri: Candy Corn
The Tigers are the worst team in the SEC. To many, Candy Corn is the worst type of Halloween candy one could get. While people don’t hate the Tigers as much as they do Candy Corn, they both share a bond in being the worst.
Ole Miss: Reese’s Pieces
Similar to M&M’s but slightly better. That perfectly describes the Hugh Freeze era at Ole Miss. The Rebels have been a step ahead of the Bulldogs in recent seasons, but can’t seem to make that jump to elite.
South Carolina: Almond Joys
Some people swear Almond Joys are great. Others think the coconut flavored candy isn’t good. Some would say the same about Will Muschamp. He’s one of the best defensive minds in football, but his track record as a head coach leaves some wanting more.
Texas A&M: Nerds
There’s usually a ton of excitement surrounding Nerds. It’s mostly just empty sugar, but the candy is very popular. The excitement, and resulting emptiness, is how the last two Texas A&M season’s have gone. Great and exciting starts followed by disheartening losses. The Aggies will try to prevent the same letdown this season.
The “Are we sure they’re really good?” candy. Sure there is some talent with Tennessee, but there are also some holes. And while the red Starburst are great, the yellow, pink orange make you wish you had more red ones. Tennessee needs to continue to put some together more red Starburst performances.
Dots are always just sort of there. No one has ever said Dots are their favorite candy, just like Vanderbilt has never won the SEC.